Logic Never Wins

Logic never wins. Especially when you’re dealing with an 11 year-old boy who thinks he can out-logic you, the parent. Peanut had a four day weekend and it was filled with logic issues, none successful.

First. Don’t debate breakfast with me. Trying to tell me you’ve eaten breakfast when all you’ve done is grabbed a cheese stick out of the fridge and ran to get on the computer won’t allow you to be a winner. Add some fruit. Maybe a piece of toast. Sure, I can call that a light weekend breakfast.

Second. A kids Clif bar is not for lunch.It’s a snack. Don’t tell me “well, it’s got x grams of protein” nor “I promise there’s not that much sugar.” I do read labels you know.

Third. Grabbing my head in a wrestling hold and trying to pull it down low enough so I can smell the sulfer seeping out of your teeny tiny buttocks is not a win. Logic will not help you there. It’s not a medical issue that I inspect your flatulence.

Fourth. Showers are non-negotiable. You’re 11 and hair is sprouting in places I don’t want to know about. Get thee to the bathroom and scrub the stench off of your little furry pits.

Finally. Don’t argue with me about bedtime. I’m not going to argue with you. I’m going to tell you to get over yourself and go to bed. End of story.

Do you ever feel like logic is going to make you lose it? I know that the daily logic battle is far from over, but at least I can prepare myself.

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