Planet Tweendom

gas mask mommyality

There are days you can count among your proudest moments as a parent and different for everybody. The day they march off to Kindergarten, head held high. How about you being a hot mess as they walk into middle school without a care in the world? What about when they discover their first armpit hair and break bad with the robot, or stroke their peach fuzz talking about their ‘stache.

What? Your tweens don’t do that? 

I’m officially stuck in tweendom. You know that time of life when your adorably cute, gap-toothed, smiling angels turn into aliens from another planet. No, I’ve not named said planet yet. However, I’m leaning on “Really?” or “Ugh”… but then, I’m afraid Tom Brady would try and get an endorsement deal and I’m sure he isn’t going to appreciate payment in belly button lint.

Today is a day on Planet Tween that has had me belly laughing all afternoon. From discussing the boys in class all liking one girl “because she’s bodacious” to sharing he can say “lookout” backwards and then doing it Samurai style. It wasn’t complete without the sword slash. Finally, I was told “Hey! I only have one grungy tooth. It’s gold. Look at mah grill, yo.”

I would like imagine this planet as one that is clean and BO free. The realist in me knows that it’s not only filthy, but smells like paper mill is on every corner. Sulfer and methane would be the natural resources that would cause either air freshener wars on each block or force people to walk around in gas masks 24 hours a day.


I feel like Forrest Gump. After all, what can you say to any of this? Show me the money?


  1. My 9 and a half yr old daughter got out of the shower this week and showed me that she had a few hairs growing in places …. SO not ready!
    By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Vajazzling and Halloween – both scary!

  2. I know. I’m not ready for this puberty thing…but it’s here. Eek!

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