I’m A Slacker Parent

It’s Halloween and I’m sitting on my sofa in my PJ’s. Peanut is at school and I’ve been at work since 7:20. Yes, I realize how lucky I’m am to be sitting here working while HGTV is blaring in the background. Unfortunately, I’ve also realized what a slacker parent I am as Peanut’s Halloween costume isn’t finished and our pumpkin isn’t carved.

Yep, that’s me, winning Mom of the year award.

What’s better? Instead of rushing to take care of these little (!!) things, I’m blogging about it instead. Who am I? What kind of parent am I? I know I’m a slacker parent, but what parent doesn’t have these things taken care of?

In my defense, Peanut is 11. That’s ancient in kid years and he didn’t want to dress up this year. I had to bribe him with chocolate from Dean and Deluca encrusted with edible silver. So why have I not finished his costume? Beats the hell out of me. I could blame my feeling run down. I could blame my eternal procrastination. I could blame my ADD. While I am it, I might as well blame my chipped pedicure for distracting me.

Even worse, I’m feeling the doyenne of domestic, Martha Stewart not only tsk’ing me, but I’m also pretty sure she’s put on her dominatrix outfit and I’m about to be punished. What? Don’t tell me you’ve never thought of Martha and bondage. It’s like a bagel and cream cheese, it just goes together.

Now that I’ve guilted myself into getting off the sofa, I guess I need to gut the pumpkin since I’m the only one in my house that will and finish up Peanut’s costume. After all, while I might have the slacker parent gene, I’m going to hide it from Peanut and let him think I’m Supermom. After all, he has to be able to come to me when he’s a parent and say “How did you do it all?”.


  1. Dude. We didn’t carve our pumpkin either. I went out and got a Buzz Lightyear thing that sticks in it. SLACKER at its best.
    Erin recently posted..My Letter to Teens on Halloween

  2. And now I can’t get the image of Martha Stewart in bondage out of my head LOL
    You aren’t a slacker, you still have until tonight to get it done 😉

  3. Dude. You forgot to blame your hubby??!!! What gives! I thought hubbies were the cause of all our demises. And blemishes. Just Kidding. Love you hubby, if you ever read this!

  4. Yes, Ash (a year older than Peanut, but who adores the dressup aspect of Hallowe’en), said she’d protest if I didn’t get a *real* pumpkin. I give her credit for gutting it (because I refused), but my husband got to carve it. My son declared last year that he was too old and was staying home to give out candy.

    Things change. Sometimes it’s hard for us to let go of it, sometimes it’s hard for them. But the best thing to do for change is embrace it — and buy one of those plug-in pumpkins tomorrow for 50 percent off. See you at Target. 😀

  5. I don’t think you are a slacker parent. Peanut is 11 and not interested in the Halloween holiday celebration. I say, let him be. The reason you have not finished the costume is because he is not truly interested. Did you ask him what he wanted to “do” on Halloween? Maybe he would prefer to answer the door and hand out candy. Kids will be shocked an 11 year old is not out celebrating. Don’t feel like a slacker. He is fed and has a place to live, right? You are working, right? You are providing for him…so, don’t be hard on yourself. If he wanted to carve pumpkins he would have asked. The fact, he is not begging or having temper tantrums about any of this is because you are a good mom and have done quite well. Well behaved children are a carbon copy of their parents 🙂

  6. Pumpkin not done..costume? Done. Whew. He said we can carve the pumpkin later. Win!

  7. See, I gave you something to think about the rest of the day!

  8. He bribed me with soup and salad from Olive Garden, what can I say?

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