Week 4: Spoogie and the Power Sperm

I took a pee test during lunch hour. Two lines: Pregnant. I’m shocked the rest of the day. How’d this happen? I kept asking the only person who knew, my co-worker. She makes a circle out of one finger and pushes another finger through the hole. Yes, we had sex. My husband and I had unprotected sex.
I remember it vividly. It happened on the couch while our daughter was taking her three-hour weekend nap. It was good. Really good. And now, I’m on week 4, with 36 weeks to go. The thing is, we wanted another child. A girl, preferably. But if it’s a healthy, gay son, I’m totally cool with that. I just didn’t think we’d get prego so quickly. I figured we’d have unprotected sex for 10 months, attend a wedding in Philly, one in Florida and leave semen on hotel duvets across the continental US. And then, right after Christmas, we’d conceive.
Nope. Not the plan. Because I married a man with power sperm. Now, I can’t drink or smoke at any of the weddings and traveling during Christmas is gonna be a bitch. Yep, I’m an irresponsible bitch. I didn’t plan well.
Plus, we’re in the middle of a recession and we’re broke.
But then again, maybe a recession is the perfect time to get prego. My hubby is out of work, so he has extra time to prepare our incumbent child for the newest addition to our family. And hopefully, when we’re all ready to get back to work, the new and the old kid will be safely tucked away in daycare. I know it’s not ideal. But for now, it’s part of my plan.
This post is written by Ruby Begonia.  She is blogging anonymously as there is quite literally, just a handful that know she is pregnant and she wants to keep it that way! Look for her wickedly sharp humor weekly here on Mommyality!


  1. 31Summers says

    this is too funny, can't wait to hear more!

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