She was thin but she wanted to be thinner.

“She was thin, but she wanted to be thinner.”

If I ever write a novel, I always thought that’d make a great opening line. To me, it sounds poetically honest. But to most people, I’m sure it comes across like your typical middle class white girl with two kids, a hard-working husband and a dog that shits on the floor.

I’m not alone. I have two people that call me mommy and about thirty extra pounds of pudding on my Anglosaxon frame. So how do I get rid of it? Right now I’m transitioning from Weight Watcher to Atkins and dipping my toe in that new Lindora diet that’s all the range in San Jose.

With my first kid it was easier. Back then we didn’t have celebrate that daily event called “dinner.” Now, our house is dominated by macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets and blueberry waffles. And when my child doesn’t finish her dinner, I think about those poor children in Rwanda and eat every last bite in their honor.

Plus, we’re into snacking. And when people say children snack too much,

they’re usually talking about my purse. Inside lives at least two snacks and a lollipop for when I need to bribe my child to stop hitting me.

See. My world is full of food. So it’s no wonder I’m struggling. But at least, unlike my daughter, I’m willing to try new diets.