Your Happiness Lies Within….YOU.

If there is anything I’ve learned over the last month is that when communication breaks down between a couple it can seem like you’re on two separate planets. Each of you pointing fingers and neither of you correct in your assumptions.

But, it’s like a band-aid you’ve ripped off before it’s time. It leaves everything red, sore and covered in a sticky mess. You realize that ripping that band-aid off was the worst thing two people could do, but instead of searching for a new one to cover everything up, you decide to find out what the band-aid has been covering the entire time.

Love. Love that was hidden by years of neglect. It’s like going into an old barn and in the back corner is something, but you aren’t sure what it is — maybe furniture. Upon closer inspection, after clearing away the cobwebs, the layers of dust and dirt, you realize it’s something magical. Something that had been there the entire time. Ignored because of the stressors of daily life, work, family, you name it, chances are, those layers are covering.

When you are start caring for that old, ignored, covered up mystery, you find things you haven’t seen in years. Little cubbies packed full of memories and a mirror to your soul.

It’s reflective and makes you take a hard look at yourself. Such a hard look, you’re afraid the mirror will break. But it doesn’t. You go further in yourself than ever before. And before you know it, you come face to face with a universal truth:

Your Happiness Lies Within You.

While it sounds cliché, when you experience such a profound realization, it’s a life changing moment. Suddenly, the world is open to new things and you realize that your happiness has been standing if front of you the entire time. Neither of you knew it until you ripped off the band-aid and were left raw and oozing.

And then? You do something neither of you expected, you decide to let the area covered from the band-aid heal in the open. There is no more covering it up. By not replacing the band-aid, there is a big gaping wound, but as it is exposed to air, something miraculous happens: it starts to heal. Sure, there’s a big scab, but it will go away in bits and pieces, but there are no more band-aids, just air and time.

Flawed can be more perfect than perfection. In Japanese, there is a beautiful term, wabi-sabi, which describes the special beauty of the imperfect, the incomplete, and the transient. Superficially similar, but actually different in meaning (as I understand it), is the phrase from software development, Worse is better.

My happiness is inside me. No matter what happened in my childhood, no matter what happens  now; I know how to find my happiness and not get distracted from outside forces that threaten to tear it away.


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