#ashamed

by Lisa on January 27, 2012 · 14 comments

Parenting is the hardest job I’ve ever had and will ever have. It’s made even more difficult by the constant interference of media. Especially when it’s bad media. When the media makes me #ashamed to be in the media business.

Why am I hashtagging #ashamed? Because of this:

The State of Georgia has taken it upon themselves to place billboards such as this all over in hopes that it will shame parents, or their children, into looking at their weight issues and make them “deal with it”. My friend Leah brought it to my attention again, here: http://www.mamavation.com/2012/01/shaming-the-fat-kid-is-not-solving-the-obesity-epidemic.html.

Quite frankly Georgia, you piss me off.

Do you know what it’s like to be President of the “but you have such a pretty face” club?

I do.

Do you know what it’s like to be told “I’d date you, but you’re too heavy”?

I do.

Do you know what it’s like to be told that if you lose thirty pounds, someone will buy you a new wardrobe?

I do.

Do you know what it’s like for your boyfriend’s mother to look at a photo of you and say “she’s pretty, but don’t you think she could lose some weight”?

I do.

Do you know what it’s like being told “I can trust you with my boyfriend, because he’d never date someone like you”?

I do.

Do you know what it’s like to be out in public with your husband and people don’t assume you’re together because of your weight?

I do.

I’ve had a weight problem my entire life. My sister has always been much slimmer than me. I ate less, exercised more and yet was shopping for “husky” jeans while she was shopping “for cute” clothes. Believe me, that’s enough to damage the psyche of any child. Throw in the above and a million more things I could add and there is damage no child will ever recover from.

Believe me, my weight in the beginning was not a lifestyle issue. No one in my very large, very active family was heavy except my paternal grandmother.

As an adult, having seen these advertisements on the interstate in Georgia, I was gobsmacked. The audacity of these legislative suits who thought an ad campaign shaming children, embarrassing them for their weight problems, was a good idea is beyond reprehension.

Do not get me wrong, childhood obesity is a serious problem. Shaming a child with a weight problem is not how you deal with it. The shame makes the weight worse. Don’t believe me? I know what I’m talking about. The shame makes that child seek comfort. You know how that child finds comfort?

Food. 

It’s a twisted, two-headed snake. You have to have food to live, but not live for it. However, it doesn’t matter how smart the child is. Food causes a chemical reaction in the body akin to a high.

An opioid is a chemical that works by binding to opioid receptors, which are found principally in the central and peripheral nervous system and the gastrointestinal tract. The receptors in these organ systems mediate both the beneficial effects and the side effects of opioids.

Let that sink in.

Food for me is a drug. I didn’t realize it until I was sitting in bed the other night reading Dr. David Kessler’s book “The End of Overeating”. However, it’s not like I’m eating all the time, or binging. It’s the opposite. I have to have my trigger foods in the house.

When I have a food that is high in fat and sugar, I can’t stop eating it. I know I’m full. My stomach and brain don’t make the connection.

I’m a drug addict needing that high.

But, in order to get that high, since I was already accustomed to the previous level, I have to eat more. Even though my stomach is uncomfortably full, my brain doesn’t register satiety. It’s like a smoking gun and I like the smell.

Robert Downey, Jr. described addiction as having a loaded gun in your mouth and liking the taste. He is right on. I like the metal in my mouth, finger on the trigger. It tastes good.

Seeing this happen to other children is UNACCEPTABLE.

If this campaign speaks to you, and you’re moved by my words, then join us. Let your opinion be heard tonight on Twitter and Facebook. Let them know what you think, how you feel. Join my friend Leah Segedie and others as she leads us in a Twitter chat tonight from 9-10pm EST using the hashtag #ashamed.

If you would like to voice your opinion you can do it directly AT The Strong 4Life Campaign.

Twitter: @Strong_4_Life

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/S4LGA

 

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Logic Never Wins

by Lisa on January 24, 2012 · 0 comments

Logic never wins. Especially when you’re dealing with an 11 year-old boy who thinks he can out-logic you, the parent. Peanut had a four day weekend and it was filled with logic issues, none successful.

First. Don’t debate breakfast with me. Trying to tell me you’ve eaten breakfast when all you’ve done is grabbed a cheese stick out of the fridge and ran to get on the computer won’t allow you to be a winner. Add some fruit. Maybe a piece of toast. Sure, I can call that a light weekend breakfast.

Second. A kids Clif bar is not for lunch.It’s a snack. Don’t tell me “well, it’s got x grams of protein” nor “I promise there’s not that much sugar.” I do read labels you know.

Third. Grabbing my head in a wrestling hold and trying to pull it down low enough so I can smell the sulfer seeping out of your teeny tiny buttocks is not a win. Logic will not help you there. It’s not a medical issue that I inspect your flatulence.

Fourth. Showers are non-negotiable. You’re 11 and hair is sprouting in places I don’t want to know about. Get thee to the bathroom and scrub the stench off of your little furry pits.

Finally. Don’t argue with me about bedtime. I’m not going to argue with you. I’m going to tell you to get over yourself and go to bed. End of story.

Do you ever feel like logic is going to make you lose it? I know that the daily logic battle is far from over, but at least I can prepare myself.

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Teacher Work Days + My Keurig = Genius

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He has been served

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Thoughts on Mommyality

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A Boy Named Joe…..

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I met a boy who broke my heart.  He also touched me deeply.  His unbridled sense of enthusiasm and welcoming demeanor was at odds with the bad stuff he has encountered in his young life. Joe (not his real name) befriended me at the Thompson Child & Family Focus Holiday Chapel Service.  As I took my [...]

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Esther: One mom’s journey through separation, divorce and beyond!

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Hello! I wanted to introduce myself and share a little about what you can expect from me. My name is Esther. I am currently married and separated from Mr. Y. We have five kids. Sarah, Rebekah, Asher, Ruth and Matthew.  We haven’t been separated for long. Less than a week to be exact. I am [...]

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Update from the Mommyality Trenches

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Bet you didn’t think I was ever going to show up over here again, did you? Well, I haven’t meant to ignore Mommyality, however life has totally gotten in the way. And when I say life, I’m talking about every damn germ on the planet ever trying to invade my body. Life has been hard [...]

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He’s 11, but still my baby

by Lisa November 2, 2011

Mothers intuition is always right. Something told me to hang around the house today and work instead of going into the Picaboo office to catch up on some work. Turns out Peanuts cold was something a little more. It’s sinus infection central here. We’ve moved beyond the runny nose to the head stuffed full of [...]

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